Stop & Stare

I went for it, and it was utterly amazing. Fruition? Tis nonexistent. I can't get enough. It's driving me mad.

How on earth is that even possible at this point? After all this long?

Please don't let this one go.

Cheers, Darlin'

I don't know if i should keep hanging on, and waiting, wishing, praying for you to come back. To be as we were, as we should be, as we promised and convinced ourselves years ago that we would be. I miss you. God, how much i miss you. I want to make that move, to do something to show that i care, but will that be enough? Is it ever enough?

I've been let down once, should i go for a second then hopefully, third time will have it's charm? Is the humiliation, and pain worth it? It should be, just as long as things turn back to what they once were.

But I'm scared, I'm scared that you will (further) push me away. That you will learn to live without me (you possibly have) and everything that we were, will mean nothing, will be nothing. Just a distant memory that you blame yourself for wasting precious years of your life on.

I will make that move, but when the time is right, in a few weeks time i say. You have your problems right now, and i don't want to be the reason behind further distress. Maybe, just maybe, you will believe me this time around.

You're in love with love…

Does one truly fall in love, or are we merely infatuated with the idea of it? Convincing oneself that this one person can cause you to soar so high above the ground, you lose yourself completely. That their flaws are seen as perfection in your eyes, and even their lies are beautiful.

Perhaps this line of thought works both ways, or is it always a one-way street?

A New Beginning?

Nope, simply a transition.

For 2 1/2 years or so I have been blogging over at Livejournal. As it was not open to the public, I was able to be myself.. literally. It was created solely as a tool to use in order to reflect back on my past. However, that does not appear to be the case anymore.

I don't know where I plan to go with this, or why Blogger when Livejournal could do the job just as well. But i do know that in here, I can't be judged by my past, or for being who I am. And that's considered a tick in my books.

Who knows, perhaps I'll carry on over at LJ, or maybe this sudden urge for a change will fade. At the moment this just feels right, and rather than ignoring that, I have decided I'm going to take a deep breath and plunge in.